Getaways are a part of every person’s
pursuit for fun, getting rid of stress, and maintaining sanity. So before reading this, I advise you to
shout out loud “VACATION!! VACATION!! THANK GOD NO CONSTIPATION!” I know! Right! Eminem got nothing on
me.
I have always opted for lively destinations
rather than cities recommended by travel reviews. On this trip we were
travelling to Beirut or what I like to call Gayrut because of the large joyful
community there. It was the usual
crowd: Fuzz, Abz, Susu, Tammi, Yara, and I.
We all sat at CheChe Café to kill time
while we waited to board the plane. Abz and Susu became frustrated trying to find
sockets to charge their laptops, while Tammi and I took our books out and
snickered at them because of our simplicity. I was reading Londonstani, while
she was reading Twilight. In my opinion Stephenie Meyer’s books are no better
than a fourth grader’s writing abilities. I mean come on! The whole franchise
is based on a vampire who lives in the forest and sparkles; obviously he’s a
fairy! And how does he get a boner, if there is no blood pumping through his
veins?
All of us being distracted we lost track of
time. Fuzz decided to check the boarding passes and yelled out “Move God damn
it! We’re late!” As we all packed
our stuff in a rush, Yara spilled her milkshake all over the place. We ran
around frantically like Mexicans around a piñata, trying to find gate 13. In
all the confusion, we spread out. Tammi, Yara, Abz and I in one direction,
while Fuzz and Susu headed the other way. After searching for gate 13 during
what felt like forever, we realized that gate 13 does not exist and it was a
typo on the damn tickets. Right then and there I felt elephants rather than
butterflies in my stomach. We immediately heard the last call for our flight
heading to Beirut at gate 11. As we were racing against time, Tammi’s heel flew
off so I stopped to help her but she refused yelling dramatically, “Go on
without me!” but I helped her anyways carrying her over my shoulder. She
blurted out “thanks for shaving me…uh saving me! Haha this never happened!” Yara and Abz decided to meet us ahead
to stall the airline staff from closing the gate until we were all united.
As we settled on the plane, we sat in two
parallel rows. I heard the kid behind us reassure his mother that he was
wearing superman underwear to feel safe on the plane. We took off shortly. We
were flying economy and the airhostess closed the curtain dividing the two
classes with a smirk that said “no free champagne for you”. I had my elbow on
the armrest when I suddenly heard a loud friction. I turned for a glance and
was horrified by what I saw! It was guy with his feet up, flicking his toes
like antennas, as if he were marking his territory. I told him off while Tammi on my right was laughing silently
and clapping like a retarded seal.
Susu was watching a film called “Midnight
in Paris” but to her disadvantage her TV kept lagging so she kept changing
seats to watch her movie. By the time she found a TV that streamed her film flawlessly,
there was a guy reading the newspaper next to her. I guess it is karma for
telling my grandma that the History Channel is the news channel.
An hour flew by and the airhostess arrived
with the food kart. I did not know where to spit out my gum, so we decided to
prank the people seated in front of us. I placed my gum on the corner of their
armrest, while Yara kept pushing it closer to the woman’s elbow giggling loudly.
Clearly, the concept of discretion is not familiar to her. We chose our food, and it was so
obvious that Abz was flirting with the airhostess. Fuzz and I decide to pull a
prank by writing an inside joke on the piece of paper & slipping it to her.
So when she gives it to Abz, he would think it is her phone number. Let us just
say that the expression on his face, upon receiving and reading what was on
that paper, was priceless.
We landed surprisingly fast, so I guessed the
pilot must have been dying to go the rest rooms. As we got up from our seats,
we notice Sarah passed out on the passenger next to her, with drool on his
shoulder. She woke up so startled that she pretended to be going through her
phone to avoid that awkward moment. Her thumb was moving so fast, that it must
have developed abs!
As for my next flight I hope it is on a no
gravity flight to float around on the plane.
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