48 Hours in Bahrain

Bahrain: noun. /bɑːˈreɪn/. › A country in the Middle East known as Saudi Arabia’s Mexico. From around the GCC, this active island is the destination to be amongst spring breakers. Just a 4 hour drive away from Riyadh’s capital, one can’t but wonder about the abandoned ferret wheel close to the bridge. It is one of Saudi’s unconventional landmarks on the East Coast.

Since booze is prohibited in Saudi, I like to refer to Vodka as Bahraini water. Very un-Saudi of me, but I have only been to Bahrain once… And by plane! My brother and I went for a comedy festival. We stayed in downtown Bahrain, which was basically the red-light district. After a weekend of fun in Sin City, we hit our hotel around 3:00 am in the morning.

I barely closed my eyes for 5 minutes, and I hear a knock at the door. I ignore it, and someone knocks at the door again, I open it up only to find an Asian prostitute with orange dreadlocks asking me “Hi I’m O, you want lady?” I replied “No! It’s 3 in the morning!” and shut the door, assuming she went to the wrong room. Around 15 minutes later, I hear a knock again at the door. I open it up, and there she was... Again! But this time acting all sly, asking “Is Menwer here?” so I replied there was no one by that name here. She responds back “OK… So you want lady!?” and an obese version of her pops up from behind her, smiling to say “I’m G, you want lady?”. I think to myself where is M? And yell at her “For the last time, no we don’t!”. Storming back into my room, I call hotel management to have her escorted out of here.

We head out to the airport that afternoon to catch our return flight back home. My brother had some liquor chocolate with him and decided to eat a few. He disappeared in the bathroom for a while so I went to check up on him to make sure he was fine. My knuckles barely touched the door and it flung open due to air turbulence and inside was a guy gratifying himself. In horror, I run back to my seat, thinking liquor chocolate doesn’t seem so bad right now.