Friday, September 20, 2013

Flying Sky High: Episode 2

Getaways are a part of every person’s pursuit for fun, getting rid of stress, and maintaining sanity.  So before reading this, I advise you to shout out loud “VACATION!! VACATION!! THANK GOD NO CONSTIPATION!”  I know! Right! Eminem got nothing on me.

I have always opted for lively destinations rather than cities recommended by travel reviews. On this trip we were travelling to Beirut or what I like to call Gayrut because of the large joyful community there.  It was the usual crowd: Fuzz, Abz, Susu, Tammi, Yara, and I.

We all sat at CheChe Café to kill time while we waited to board the plane. Abz and Susu became frustrated trying to find sockets to charge their laptops, while Tammi and I took our books out and snickered at them because of our simplicity. I was reading Londonstani, while she was reading Twilight. In my opinion Stephenie Meyer’s books are no better than a fourth grader’s writing abilities. I mean come on! The whole franchise is based on a vampire who lives in the forest and sparkles; obviously he’s a fairy! And how does he get a boner, if there is no blood pumping through his veins?

All of us being distracted we lost track of time. Fuzz decided to check the boarding passes and yelled out “Move God damn it! We’re late!”  As we all packed our stuff in a rush, Yara spilled her milkshake all over the place. We ran around frantically like Mexicans around a piñata, trying to find gate 13. In all the confusion, we spread out. Tammi, Yara, Abz and I in one direction, while Fuzz and Susu headed the other way. After searching for gate 13 during what felt like forever, we realized that gate 13 does not exist and it was a typo on the damn tickets. Right then and there I felt elephants rather than butterflies in my stomach. We immediately heard the last call for our flight heading to Beirut at gate 11. As we were racing against time, Tammi’s heel flew off so I stopped to help her but she refused yelling dramatically, “Go on without me!” but I helped her anyways carrying her over my shoulder. She blurted out “thanks for shaving me…uh saving me! Haha this never happened!”  Yara and Abz decided to meet us ahead to stall the airline staff from closing the gate until we were all united.

As we settled on the plane, we sat in two parallel rows. I heard the kid behind us reassure his mother that he was wearing superman underwear to feel safe on the plane. We took off shortly. We were flying economy and the airhostess closed the curtain dividing the two classes with a smirk that said “no free champagne for you”. I had my elbow on the armrest when I suddenly heard a loud friction. I turned for a glance and was horrified by what I saw! It was guy with his feet up, flicking his toes like antennas, as if he were marking his territory.  I told him off while Tammi on my right was laughing silently and clapping like a retarded seal.
Susu was watching a film called “Midnight in Paris” but to her disadvantage her TV kept lagging so she kept changing seats to watch her movie. By the time she found a TV that streamed her film flawlessly, there was a guy reading the newspaper next to her. I guess it is karma for telling my grandma that the History Channel is the news channel.

An hour flew by and the airhostess arrived with the food kart. I did not know where to spit out my gum, so we decided to prank the people seated in front of us. I placed my gum on the corner of their armrest, while Yara kept pushing it closer to the woman’s elbow giggling loudly. Clearly, the concept of discretion is not familiar to her.  We chose our food, and it was so obvious that Abz was flirting with the airhostess. Fuzz and I decide to pull a prank by writing an inside joke on the piece of paper & slipping it to her. So when she gives it to Abz, he would think it is her phone number. Let us just say that the expression on his face, upon receiving and reading what was on that paper, was priceless.

We landed surprisingly fast, so I guessed the pilot must have been dying to go the rest rooms. As we got up from our seats, we notice Sarah passed out on the passenger next to her, with drool on his shoulder. She woke up so startled that she pretended to be going through her phone to avoid that awkward moment. Her thumb was moving so fast, that it must have developed abs!

As for my next flight I hope it is on a no gravity flight to float around on the plane. 

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