Saturday, June 27, 2015

But Does She Like It? 8 New Men Colognes Tested… by a Wife

Diesel Only the Brave 

A rough blast of peppery testosterone — exciting, like jumping in a Jeep with an 18-year-old hockey player, but also a bit juvenile for my husband. Still, the aggression had... results. I guess that's what you want, huh?

John Varvatos Vintage 

A strong opening — very clear cedar-and-fruit scent that I found a little sweet in the first few minutes. It quickly quieted, though, into some sort of bucolic fantasy of haylofts and woodsheds. I'm telling you, men and yardwork...

Gucci by Gucci 

Very, very sexy — as expected, I suppose. Maybe a little too slick for my man, but it inspired some dark dreams about money, murder, and that dude from Miami Vice. This is what movie stars should smell like.

Odin New York no 2
Ah, Odin — love those guys. The Owari fragrance is so yummy I'm wearing it myself right now under my bikini. Like most exotic fragrances, it wore away too quickly, leaving only the faintest taste of mandarin oranges and mint on my pillow. But maybe that's perfect. Put on lots and lots, please.

Big Pony Collection 3 

I believe that Ralph Lauren's magic is real: Rugged, simple Americana is a sexy, simple bet for a gentleman. I was a bit shocked by the bracing greens of the bottle, and it opened like a classic woody fougère (hey, look it up!) but soon cooled into a really refreshing mint. (Ever had scotch with a splash of mint iced tea?) The Big Pony was great for daytime, but a little, shall we say, energetic for the bedroom.

Polo Red White and Blue 

This bottle from Ralph would actually make a nice complement to his big green one, sexing up the situation with warm red apples and sage. And, yes, you can have day and evening scents. Despite how much we take up, you do have room in the medicine chest.

Burberry Sport 

A little more of a traditional cologne scent here, so very gentlemanly. But the impression I got was a sip of frosty Witbier: orange and wheat with a crisp juniper finish. Go ahead and embrace smelling like a beer — in this case it will be delicious. It was also my husband's favorite, by the way.

But No Matter What... 

1. Your ideal fragrance should make a woman want to nuzzle, explore... and possibly steal your cologne.
2. Take it easy. Please do not bathe in the stuff.
3. Also, please do not spray cologne on your crotch. It tastes nasty.
4. Put on just enough so that there's a bit left on your skin in the morning. A bit on her skin, too. To remind her.

Source: Esquire

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